grief

i am trying to make sense of it all. sometimes life can be really frustrating, yet endearing all the same. GRIEF. i wonder..is it a gift or a curse? can grief only exist because there is love?

God is a genius to have created feelings, emotions; love and grief. they are amazing. they overwhelm you and take you like a storm. sometimes you can be knocked out cold and sometimes you can be brimming with excitement.

i am wondering how i would feel if someone close to me dies. how much grief would i feel? i mean, i wonder what real deep grief feels like? and i wonder how different it would feel from what i think 'sadness' is to me now. i mean, occasionally i feel bogged down and 'sad' and all that but...really..what does grief really mean? damn. i would hate to experience it.

conversely, i am wondering what's it like to feel really loved?

feel like i should step back a bit.

(half) DONE!!!

ok i just 'finished' the property assignment. finally. i've been really slow but it's done. just need to tweak some parts which i will leave to do on sunday. hopefully it wont take more than an hour. 2 hours max. now to get on with tonight's first trial advo tutorial and the impending company law test on wednesday. tonight's tutorial is at Rajah & Tann. i hope it will be fun.

something else. was really in a good mood till i received a real bad piece of news. well...kinda crushed me a lil. it also reminds me that life can be...real unpredictable and you never know. you never what it has in store for you. the only thing i can do now is pray and ask God for directions. and trusting always in His providence for all that happens.

Dear God, i want to learnt to trust. help me to stop trying to control all thats happening cos in the end, i am human and we can never craft all that's around us. even if we grow so powerful. so help me give it up to you Lord, Creator, Saviour, and Ruler of the universe.

Good day everybody.

great mood

ok i am in a great mood today. though it did start off badly. yah it's the 2nd day of the hols.

yesterday i was really in quite a bad mood, upset by some stuff here and there. and i know that the stuff that i am upset about is really silly, and i know i am just being an idot. but i cant control it sometimes. i know i am a cock. but yet, these idiotic feelings just overwhelm me. although my rational mind tells me i am being illogical.

so anyhow today i went school had breakfast with kerong and 'started' on the irritating assignment. and well, it was going OK till some point at about 12 i think. something happened and i've been in a great mood since. yea!

so we had lunch, discussed with jinhuang and wendy, had some great laughs, and i went off to meet sumei and jerry for dinner, and we went for the talk 'Fact/Fiction' by Rev Gordon Wong. well it was quite good. and jerry lion yan sumei and i went balestier for some good Bak Kut Teh and we had a great discussion on God and proving morality and that has also contributed to my fantastic mood. i think apologetics is really my passion. i really appreciate you guys and your company and all that we talked about tonight.

ok so i trudge on this week, with a property assignment and company law test to study for. but i trust God will encourage me and bring me through it all. He also told me last week, and also on monday night, that i need to learn to love more. Life is about Love and your relationships and friendships that you build. Yes, that's right. ultimately, that's what matters. i need to love EVERYONE. yes EVERYBODY. i think that's really tough but i will work on it!

GOOD DAY EVERYBODY! GOD BLESS YOU!!!!

some updates

ok as i had said there have been many interesting things last week and this week so far but i am not going to blog about them all cos it's too damn long and some things are PRIVATE after all. HEH HEH HEH. i am also helluva shacked out now after soccer, dinner and stuff so i shall just put up some pics!!!!!
me at dinner with Kathy and Shawn. i am eating the remainders of the Beijing Duck. shiok. this was at hu cui, a crystal jade branch in Taka.

this is the duck. roasted duck is one of my MOST favourite food. we ate the skin with the popiah thingy and the meat was served like that to us. ooooh yeah.

at the entrance of the restaurant. kathy with yet another gay pose.

at kathy's birthday surprise! in the student lounge.

this is just a funny shot. pam and i were on the way to the bus stop and we chanced upon the 'shop' in the Law IV play - Roses and Hello!!! it's really cute so we took a few shots!

just another random pic. choosing what to wear and this is part of my room.

went for 'roses and hello' on sunday night and i thought it was quite good. shawn gerald and i.

sunday morning youth Ministry went down to play some games at West Coast. not bad, quite fun though only 5 youths and 2 leaders from GAY came down. the overall turn out was good though. from the left, david Fong Xuefeng Me Rachel Andrea. Aren't they adorable!!??

Joni came down for the play too on sunday night. she said it was quite good. i hoped the 'lawyer jokes' didnt put her off cos sometimes you wont enjoy these kinda faculty plays as they like to crack internal jokes. but i thought it was fine and i am glad she came!

ya thats all for my mundane updates. coming up next: my decayed molar tooth. cant wait to show all of you those disgusting pics of my rotten tooth.

today

it's been very long since i blogged. 10 days. not that nothing's been happening. actually a lot of things happened. some mundane, some thrilling, some lovely. but i shall not do a full entry blog like right now cos i dont have my fotos. cos i am using my mac and i am alone in the library and most people are out and i have decided not to join shawn sylvia and shumin at IKEA. so i shall just 'study' here in the library.

i am not joining them for lunch cos i cant really any too solid food and i find it a lil troublesome to travel there. besides, i am really spending too much nowadays. cash is running out way too fast. but more importantly, i have just had my last molar on the upper case pulled out. surprisingly, it didnt hurt. my molar is really ugly. i cant wait ti go home take a picture and display it. it's real. i hope this wont affect my enjoyment of food.

yayh so this morning i was in quite a bad mood. i attempted to wake up early, like 630. so i could reach school by 8 and do my tutorial till 9. but i woke up late about 650 and in the end i decided to take a lift from my dad and i took 151 from the toa payoh canal bus stop and it was crowded but thankfully it was air con.

i think i wasamost pissed that i could not come to school early to do my tut and i only reached school at 845.

but whatever, ever since i pulled out the molar i have been in a good mood. i think tonight will go well too. the woman told me not to play soccer, but i think i am going to. dont think it will affect my gone tooth.

till tonight, good afternoon.

this week really really really shit student. i missed 3 lectures. i really never read. i online during all lectures. so i felt really bad. SO. i did a good thing tonight. i started wrapping my books just now. quite proud of myself cos i think i did a good job and it looks as if it has been wrapped by a girl. yea good good good. good start. see the scissors and the scotch tape. as can be seen i am quite proud of my wrapping.


wednesday night we had our year 2s christian dinner at Joseph's place. and it went well. glad for the relatively good turn out and some good sharing and conversation we had over the dinner table. i hope all can make it more regularly for our morning prayer meetings.

thursday lunch. was just about to but my rice from the malay stall. oh that chicken wings and begedil and all that oily and curry. but kenny called just be my turn and offered something better. lunch with him and his mum at bukit timah's Punggol Seafood. how to resist such good lunch and company!!??? shawn and i immediately left for there. had a great time. now this is what school should be like. and that same night we had kenny's 'last dinner'. Hong Kong street Chun Kee at thomson. famous for their sum lou hor fun. the other dishes were good too.

us at the entrance doing some sexy poses. after that, we procceded staright to the prata bomb for.......the prata bomb. since we were there already, just eat la. i mean, kenny's last few days here leh.

the prata bomb. i dont mind terrorists bombing me with these.

us at HK street Chun Kee.

hey kenny. bye man. one more year till we gorge like crazy again.